“Where Did They Find You?”: The Lingering Effects of Discrimination and the Fallacy of Imposter Syndrome

It’s not lost on me that there are people who don’t expect to see a dark-skinned black woman in a position of power. In fact - there was a point in my life where I just expected to receive wide eyes and shocked expressions as I walked into rooms. There was a period when I would shy away from opportunities and allow my work to be violently apprehended by colleagues or other leaders.

However, the narrative that my current presence in these spaces somehow validates an encroaching position of a society that is equitable or no longer needs provisions to protect the very communities I came from is an insult to our collective intelligence.

Now I would argue - more than ever - we must provide a comprehensive approach to protecting ALL of our rights. 

The challenge is that multiple levels of my existence are controversial. Today I am met with the surfacing of two - being a woman and being black. The combination and separation of these two often cause intersectional warfare that is weaponized yet capitalized daily. 

Politicians leverage it to mobilize their bases, whether for or against their causes, while choosing to remain silent during life-threatening votes. Their complacency is rewarded through the participation in validating dangerous policies that are passed and quietly implemented. All in the hopes of future bipartisanship or compromise.

Businesses cultivate it into their marketing strategies and bottom lines while at the same time refusing to provide sustainable career paths within their companies. Ones that don’t amplify weaponized incompetence but prioritize a leadership model directly tied to the profit margins they benefit from. 

The silence is not lost on me.

The lingering effects of discrimination and impostor syndrome are designed to make you feel like you don't belong despite your qualifications and hard work. Forcing a reinforced existence that you have to work twice as hard as anyone around you to prove that you are just as qualified. 

The reality is that there are systemic barriers to success. All contributing to a sense of inadequacy and the feeling that you are not where you are supposed to be. The dispute is that there is a constant battle between the definition of success and how many of my identities I will have to silence to achieve it 

This plot is often seen when you have that “exceptionalized” token proceed to elevate into success but somehow still feels a lowering burden. This weight tied to a future plot twist they weren’t prepared for. One where they continue to seek a validation from their peers that will never come because the truth is the validation is aligned with the need to be seen as a version of success the system never intends on them to have.  

The comfort is in knowing that I am not alone and yet therein also lies the fear. 

Often times the verbiage of “systems” gets overlooked by the daunting weight of the word. It gets uplifted by an unwillingness to see a path through a perceived mountain of one simple thing - work. There are numerous examples available to begin reorganizing the chips on the table - equations and methodologies that map out a cause and effect relationship between the injustice, through the gaslighting, and more importantly to the solution. 

So instead of masking it all under imposter syndrome we can begin to address the actual syndrome at play - discrimination.  

If your company does not outline clear metrics to achieve and sustain career advancements. Its your work culture.

If your social justice doesn’t prioritize the voices of those most impacted by the injustice. Its your activism. 

If your politics is sustained by the consistent complacency and silence of your elected officials. Its your governance. 

Its a system.

Its a continual alignment to the root causes of discrimination  - silence and power.

The feeding of the beast and the cowering of the hunter means that there is a generational torch for protection that is being dropped. It highlights the upheaval of a rented democracy. One that is being placed into the very hands of those who not only most benefit from its injustice but those with the perceived power and the loudest performance.

Until we are willing to advocate on behalf of those less seen - we will continue to reward those most heard. This imbalance will plague any actual progress - perceived or actual - that could sustain the generational optimism of change. 

So you see the danger of Imposter Syndrome is that it ties itself to an individual metric of success. One that relies on you to just get over it or ignore the tapes in your head. It roots its existence in the perception that you are able to navigate the barriers and priorities of a broader system. Even those who have been able to pass its test find themselves locked within its sister priority - success with no power.   

The work is in continuing to reprioritize and redefine your core values and ideas. There must be a continual desire to provide space and growth as others also identify and reprioritize. Silencing others and upholding incremental change only solidifies the tapes that are played. The system is louder than the individual’s need to succeed. 

The solution is in community. The dismantling of individualism and the reintegration of collective convening allows for there not to be a need for idealistic upholding of success - but a communal achievement model that values and realigns itself to a collective good. One where we value the individual as a whole without rewarding isolation or exceptionalism. One where our most core value is the humanity within. So until we are aware that as a humanity our health is in our togetherness - we will continue to be plagued by the reality that we are allowing a very limited few dictate the lives of everyone else.